I'm not entirely sure what's going on in the cosmos lately, but the boys are constantly picking at each other over the most utterly mundane things -- and the tattling, the nit-picking, the non-stop arguing over who is right......well.....it's making me crazy. The latest in the long line of arguments happened after the bath last night.
Gibson, in all his self-righteousness insisted that Landis did not wash his neck thoroughly enough.
"YES I DID!" Countered Landis. And to prove he was right, he turned to me and demanded that I smell it. So, in order to keep the peace and put an end to the argument, I did. And it smelled just fine -- like whatever bar soap they have in there -- which I reported back to Gibson. "His neck smells fine. Now brush your teeth."
"Well, he didn't wash under his armpits at all!" yelled my oldest -- who, might I add, should be identified here as the main instigator.
"YES I DID!" Countered Landis. And to prove once again that he was right, he turned to me and demanded that I smell them. So, in order to keep the peace and put an end to the argument, I did. And they smelled just fine -- like whatever bar soap they have in there -- which I reported back to Gibson. "His armpits smell fine. Now brush your teeth."
"Well maybe he washed his armpits, but I know for a fact that he didn't wash his butt!" Gibson shot back.
At which point a thoroughly exasperated Landis countered "YES I DID!!!!" at the top of his indignant little lungs. And without further ado, he turned to me, dropped trow, bent over and demanded that I smell it.
Now, I don't know about you..... but I gotta' tell ya'........... as a parent, I've done some pretty gross things; Things I never thought I would do in a million years. And frankly, I'm so tired of all the bullshit and the fighting, that I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't briefly consider taking a whiff of that shiny little hiney, patiently waiting high in the air for my sniff and my verdict, just to shut them both up. But in the end, I declined. Because the arguing and bickering may be making me nuts, but I ain't interested in keeping the peace THAT badly.
Surprising no one
9 years ago
4 comments:
thank you for the much needed laugh. i even read it outloud to sean. the best part is that after spending that time with landis i can picture him getting so frustrated and yelling "YES I DID".
when i was done i turned to sean and said "i love rachel's life".
Hilarious!! So glad you had the sense to know when to STOP!!! xxoo
Oh come one Rachel....why didn't you just take anohter big whiff! There was a dispute to be ended. I was crying I was laughing so hard.
Oh thank goodness for that ending. I was really fearing the worst there for a minute (that you would, and that it would not be fine like a bar of soap).
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