Don't drink the water

Last year I wrote a post about my mother-in-law, and her insane ability to torment herself with disturbing thoughts. In that particular post, I did my best to explain her train of thought as I understand it; How she creates these scenarios in her mind that are indeed disturbing, yet highly unlikely. And also to explain that as improbable as they are, she believes in them whole-heartedly. Like somehow whatever "worst-case-scenario" she can conjure up is not a remote possibility, but instead the most likely outcome. And this weekend I had a conversation with my husband that proves that the proverbial apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Let me explain.......

We'd gone over to western North Carolina to take the boys rafting. We were planning to camp, but if you've ever been near the Nantahala, you know that it can cost upwards of $30.00 for a 5x5 piece of dirt with loud (and sometimes drunken) neighbors occupying the 5x5 pieces of dirt on either side of you. Being that we were only planning on residing there for an evening -- and realistically didn't have to pitch a tent since the weather was going to be so nice -- we opted instead to "stow-away" on a piece of property near the put-in. I don't want to give too much away regarding this little gem we found, except to say that there was a building on it. And due to a small light left burning, once it started to get dark you could see in. There was an office on the top level -- with a kitchen in it.

Now, one of the problems with stowing-away is that you have to do some primitive camping -- and by that I mean there is no access to water and/or bathroom facilities. But we're fine with that. Our breakfast (cereal and milk) required no water, none of us have any issues with whizzing in the woods, and (if you'll pardon my crassness) any other "bizness" we had could be taken care of in the morning at the put-in. (A put-in with flush toilets I might add.....) But you know, I was thirsty. And I'd forgotten to fill up my water bottle before we left civilization. So we walked down to the previously mentioned building and scouted around. Guess what we found? Water spigots! Two of them. One on the west side of the building, and one on the front. Hooray! This meant I wouldn't have to ration what was left of my water. I knelt down and started to turn the spigot.

Mike: "I wouldn't do that if I were you. How do you know that water is potable?
Me: "There are spigots -- coming out of a building."
Mike: "So? That doesn't mean it's drinkable."
Me: "Ummmm.......Mike? I don't really consider myself an expert on the subject, but I'm pretty sure that they don't waste time and money on plumbing for non-potable water."
Mike: "It could be coming from a well you know......"
Me: "So what if it's coming from a well? Lots of people get their water from wells. Most of my family grew up on a well."
Mike: (Pause) "Well.... it could be coming from a well that hasn't been tested......"
Me: "Mike, they have a kitchen. I highly doubt that there are 2 separate water sources coming into this building. Clearly, they use the water. I'm sure it's fine."
Mike: "I'm just sayin'......"
Me: (Sigh)

I bent down, filled up my water bottle, and took a swig.

Mike: "You're drinking poison water."
Me: (Nodding) "Spoken like a true Kafsky."

Porky Pine Cones, No Stress Recipes, and Crooked Teeth

Last week was Gibson's spring break week. We went to the mountains for a little camping and some good quality R & R, and had an absolutely fantastic time hiking waterfalls, roasting s'mores, having cookouts, and laying in the hammock. (Not all at the same time, of course.) But now that we're back, I'm in a bit of a slump on the blog here. It's not that I don't have things to write....... I'm just not that motivated to write it. However, since my good friend, Janice, left me a tiny plea the other day ("Where oh where is Rachel? I miss her blog.") I thought I would try to accommodate.



So, in the spirit of punctual blogging I'll share some spring break highlights with you. (**Disclaimer. To any of you licking your chops over the mention of spring break highlights, please let me inform you that these may not be the kind of "spring break highlights" you're hoping for. No gratuitous boobie-flashing, or raunchy drunken party antics were happening at our campsite. And unfortunately for you, the folks at site 113 wouldn't let me bring my camera.)

Highlight #1
While hiking to a waterfall, Mike picks up a small pine cone and hands it to Landis. (Landis being the kid who finds the beauty in all things "ordinary", like small grey rocks and dead leaves.) Anytime we hike, he will spend inordinate amounts of time scouring the grounds to find the perfect treasures to carry around with him for the day. Actually, let me rephrase that, because what I really meant there was that he will spend inordinate amounts of time finding the perfect treasures for ME to carry around for the day.
Mike: (Handing the pine cone to Landis.) Here, Landis. Look what I found.
Gibson: (Excitedly) Oooooooooooo! Landis! That's a porcupine! (Long pause...........) I know what it does! It PORKS ya!
Rachel: (Falls down laughing.)
Gibson: (Looks confused.)
Now that I re-read that, maybe it was more hilarious if you were standing there when he said it, because what made it so dang funny was that he meant it. And he was extremely proud of the depths of his seemingly endless, and scarily accurate, environmental knowledge. After all, if you're not careful about how you hold it, it will pork ya. And I don't know about you, but I'm not at all interested in being porked by a pine cone.

Highlight #2
Dancing around our campsite, the boys start sing "Hakuna Matata" -- you know, from the Lion King? (It's been the movie of choice lately.) In their minds, the song goes like this:

Hakuna Matata....... Aint no passin' craze
It means no worries, for your recipes.....
It's our problem free, phisosophey....
HAKUNA MATATA!

Which completely cracked me up, because I happen to know that the song lyrics don't really have anything to do with low-stress recipes. And also that they have no idea what the word philosophy is. It took me right back to the time when I thought Jimmy Buffet was wandering around Margaritaville looking for his "chiggerin' saw".

Highlight #3
And perhaps the most exciting highlight of the week.......drum roll please........... Gibson lost his first tooth! (Mah Baby! Isn't he way to little for this sort of thing?!) We couldn't believe it because we hadn't even known it was loose, but the G-man could not have been more proud of himself. Of course, judging by the way his permanent tooth is coming in, the poor kid is going to have some serious orthodontics happening in his future. Though I can't say I'm all that surprised..... between Mike and his adolescent head-gear, and me and my non-stop expanders and braces, the kid didn't have a chance.